Consequences
by MauMauKa
Summary: The Team heads to the beach for a little sun n' fun! Crack!Fic. Rated M for mature themes. No lemons yet, but the trees are being planted...


**Consequences**

Amy Allen sighed and settled back on her towel. It wasn't often that the A-Team took a vacation, but their last job had been particularly exhausting and their proximity to the local beach had thrown Murdock into a frenzy of excitement. Hannibal agreed they needed some downtime, so they had gathered up swimsuits and picnic gear and headed for the shore.

Murdock had disappeared to use the restroom as soon as they were set up. Hannibal, for once, didn't send Face or B.A. with him. When the pilot re-appeared, Amy's eyes widened in shock and she glanced at the colonel to gauge his reaction. Murdock was wearing bright pink sunglasses, a shamoo floatie around his waist and nothing else. He tossed a beach ball in the air and whooped, "YEEEEHAAAAAAH! Look out ocean, here comes a tidal wave!"

"WHAT THE—PUT YO' PANTS ON, YOU CRAZY SUCKA!" B.A. thundered. Face turned bright pink and groaned loudly. Hannibal lit a cigar.

"Forget it, muchacho! That sign says I don't have to." Murdock pointed to a small wooden sign that nobody seemed to have noticed earlier. It said CLOTHING OPTIONAL.

"_Hannibal!"_ whined Face, putting his head down on his arms and trying not to die of mortification.

"_Lieutenant!"_ Hannibal whined back, shaking his head and grinning. "You've seen worse in the showers at the barracks."

"Don't remind me."

"There's nothin' to be ashamed of, Facey!" Murdock laid out his own towel and plopped down happily in the sand. "It's man's natural state!"

"I thought that was Arkansas" Amy quipped. Nobody paid any attention.

"Be that as it may" Face retorted, "I don't suppose it occurred to you that the rest of us could do without a look at your accessories?"

"Why're you lookin' at my accessories, Faceman?"

"I'm NOT! I SAID-"

"Neva mind what you said, Face! Put yo' pants on Murdock, before I bust yo' head so hard yo' little brain disintegrates!" B.A. looked like he was on the verge of apoplexy. Hannibal stood up and stretched. "You know B.A., I think Murdock's right. Seems like it would be a shame to waste the opportunity. " And with that, the colonel dropped his trunks, folded them neatly , and stretched out on the sand with his hands behind his head. Amy was next to him and it took all of her willpower not to scoot away while breaking into a fit of hysterical giggling. "Well, I'm not losing my top, if that's what you guys are hoping for."

"Who said anything about your top? If you wanna be like us, it's your pants you gotta lose" said Murdock amiably.

"Uh, no."

"I don't care what you say, Hannibal! I ain't droppin' trou in front of you crazy honkies!"

"Nobody said you had to, B.A.. Besides, it's not like you never have before and frankly, I think a little honest nudity is a lot better than wearing a marble bag attached to a piece of dental floss."

"Excuse me!" Face glared indignantly at his CO. "This suit is work of art! It was handmade in Italy!"

"Face, it's purple."

"So?!"

"Bright purple. And shiny."

"For your information Hannibal, the color is called _melanzana_" Face rolled his eyes. "And it cost 200 bucks. I can't help it if I'm the only one here with good taste."

"200 bucks for that thing?! Huh, guess Murdock ain't the only crazy fool around here." B.A. shook his head. Amy said nothing, but she was inclined to agree with him. Never had the term "banana hammock" been as perfectly exemplified as it was in the tiny scrap of cloth around Face's hips.

"Ding ding!" Murdock chimed. Amy glanced his way and immediately wished she hadn't. "Um...Murdock..."

"The bridge is up!" the pilot cackled. "Don't worry _chica!_ The average male usually has around eleven erections a day, and a few more at night. Doesn't mean a thing."

Amy's face burned and she knew it wasn't the sun. Face had gone from pink to vermillion. B.A. turned his back. Only Hannibal was undisturbed.

"Beeooooop" Murdock made a powering-down noise. "Time to swim!" he jumped to his feet and ran into the water while the rest of the team did their best to ignore him. Hannibal yawned and rolled over onto his stomach. "Aren't you going in, Face?"

The conman gave him a dirty look. "I'll pass."

"You sure? You were saying the other day that you wished you had more time at the ocean."

"Yeah. To work on my _tan._ To chat up _cute girls in bikinis. _Babysitting naked Murdock is NOT my idea of beach fun. It's too perverse."

"And that suit isn't."

_"Will you shut up about my suit?!"_

"Don't see why I should. You bought it; you're wearing it, so you get to take the consequences."

Murdock splashed out of the ocean and bounded across the sand. "C'mon y'all! I never saw such a bunch of lifeless seaweed! Billy says the water's great!"

Face let out a decidedly girlish shriek as the pilot plucked him from his blanket and threw him over his shoulder. "C'mon, Faceman! You can't pay 200 bucks for a suit and then not baptize it! Hannibal, grab B.A.! The A-team is going IN!" He raced back into the ocean as the blond conman pounded on his back and-unless Amy was hallucinating-slapped him on the butt with both hands. Murdock laughed, returned the slap, and tossed Face into the waves. Face came up sputtering and shouting incoherently. Hannibal chuckled as the blond shoved Murdock's head under the water. Soon they were splashing each other and laughing their asses off.

"Sometimes the consequences aren't half as bad as we think they'll be" Hannibal said with a smile. "What about it? Shall we go in?"

"Only if you get dressed, Hannibal. One crazy fool on this beach is enough."

The colonel obliged and they headed in.


End file.
